and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's blow job season.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
