Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
