If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
