you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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