I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
