We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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