I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
