I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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