Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think I sprained my soul last night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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