wat bout pragnant strippers??
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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