Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
