But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
