was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
