normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
