i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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