I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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