i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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