Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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