Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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