Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
