Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
