Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
