I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
