wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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