So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
