This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
