the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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