Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
