On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
