Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
