Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
