Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I will pee on everything he values.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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