Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
