he puts the penis in happiness.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
