i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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