??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize