apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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