The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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