hell yes lets make some ravioli
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
