So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
