P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize