piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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