Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
