see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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