That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
