Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize