His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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