Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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