barbara walters just said penis...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
