Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
