I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize