How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
