I puked a lego.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
