Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize