How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
