shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
