so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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