i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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