He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize