Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
