I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
