did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
