I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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