I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize