he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
