Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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