Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
