Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
