sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
