and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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