Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
