tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
