It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
