i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
