yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
