i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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