There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize